Keeping Secrets
by CaptainCarroll
Summary: Pavel Chekov has been keeping a secret from his best friend for a long time, but can he find a good opportunity to come clean?


**This is my very first story on this site, so suggestions are welcome! It's a slash story, but it's not too steamy, so calm down. :)**

**Disclaimer: Chekov, Sulu, and Uhura belong to Gene Roddenberry. The only thing that's mine is the story!**

Helmsman Hikaru Sulu stood up and walked out of the Rec Room, carrying with him everything that had ever mattered to me. Even knowing I would see him again within the hour, I could feel my heart sink into my knotted stomach, rife with despair. _Zees has to stop,_ I thought to myself. _I cannot feel like zees ewery time he leawes ze room._

Wrapped up as I was in my pathetic, creepy thoughts regarding the Japanese angel, I hardly noticed Lieutenant Uhura standing above me, brown eyes full of gentle concern. "Pavel?" she muttered timidly, bringing me back to reality.

I stared up at her with a sharp intake of breath before chuckling nervously. "Oh, Lieutenant. I am sorry, I deed not see you zere."

Uhura forced a weak grin. "Yeah, I know, Pav," she said. Every move she made was slow and deliberate, as if she were walking on extremely thin ice. "Mind if I sit here?"

"Not at all."

Her body slid into the seat next to mine, and I couldn't help but wish it was Hikaru's. I shuddered, and instantly berated myself for how pleased I was at the prospect of such close proximity to my best friend.

Uhura studied my face earnestly before speaking. "Pavel, I'm a communications officer; you know that. Sure, I speak Klingon and Romulan and whatnot, but my specialty is, of course, Earth communication, which isn't always verbal." She paused before adding, "Do you have any clue where I'm going with this?"

I had a fear I knew exactly where she was going with this, but I found myself shaking my head.

The lieutenant sighed. "Pav, I may be ENTIRELY wrong here, and I realize that. But…I don't think I am." She gently rested a swarthy hand on my shoulder. Lowering her voice, she said, "I've seen the way you look at him, Chekov. The way you brighten up when he takes his seat next to you at the Con. The way his every word sends you into a tizzy of giggles." She examined me before asking, "I'm right, aren't I?"

I was unable to find my voice amongst all the emotion lodged in my throat, so merely nodded, avoiding Uhura's gaze so she wouldn't see the moisture in my eyes.

Uhura squeezed my shoulder. "Are you okay?" she questioned, her voice barely audible over the blood pounding in my ears.

Again, just a nod.

She sighed. "Come on, Pav. Say what's on your mind. Get it all off your chest. Go ahead."

I could have giver her some long, drawn out monologue about my feelings for the pilot, Hikaru Sulu. I could have very easily told Uhura that my heart leapt into my throat at the mere thought of him. I would have trusted her with the fact that I cried myself to sleep almost every night out of sheer frustration; that being this close to him and yet so far away was absolutely tearing me apart. But something told me she had already guessed at that. "Nyota, I love him and I don't know what to do!" I whimpered, rather pathetically, I admit. I brought my bright, yellow sleeve to my face, wiping away the tears before they got a chance to admit my misery to everyone in the Rec Room.

"Oh, you poor thing!" Uhura breathed sincerely, drawing me into a sisterly hug. I nuzzled my face against the base of her warm neck, trying to pull myself together before pulling away.

She studied my face, concern etched over every inch of her flawless skin. I remained motionless, willing my heart rate to slow down again. But how could it? How could I ever live normally knowing that Karu was somewhere aboard this ship?

"Pav, you're probably not going to want to hear this, but…I think you should tell him."

"What?" I exclaimed, maybe a little too loudly. "Uhura! Wis all due respect, Lieutenant, hawe you lost your mind?" I forced myself to take a deep breath. "Karu would newer look at me ze same way ewer again. I can't risk our friendsheep ower...ower my silly teenage longings!" I choked back a dry sob.

"Chekov, I hate to break it to you, but you risked your friendship with Sulu the day you fell in love with him."

_Weech was ze furst day I laid eyes on him,_ I thought.

"If you _truly_ love him," Uhura continued, "don't you think he deserves to know? Would you like it if he kept secrets from you?"

"But zees ees no ordinary secret," I argued. My face was starting to turn red.

"And Sulu is no ordinary friend," she pointed out. Her underlying message was loud and clear: Hikaru Sulu was no ordinary person, either. With his constantly joyful mood, his sincere caring nature, his expertise in fields ranging from botany to fencing, he was truly one in a million.

"It's just something you need to think about," Uhura concluded softly. She pushed her chair back and stood up. "Good night, Pavel. Sweet dreams." She smiled ruefully and was off, leaving me feeling more alone than ever.

After I had finished eating dinner, I wandered back to my cabin, wanting nothing more than to escape to my Hikaru filled dreams. Everything always seemed so much simpler while I was asleep.

No sooner had I scrambled into my pajamas than there was a knock on the door. "Ees unlocked, come in," I called, tossing the uniform I had worn that day into the hamper.

My cabin door swung open to reveal a similarly pajama-clad Hikaru Sulu, his gorgeous black hair slightly mussed, and a smile illuminating his features. I reminded myself to keep breathing as I ushered him into my room.

"Hey, Pav. I think I left my book in here from the other day. It's called Petals and Pistils: Knowing Your Flowers Inside and Out. Have you seen it anywhere?"

I glanced quickly around the room before shaking my head. "No, I vould hawe returned eet by now if eet was here. Sorry, Karu."

He waved his hand dismissively. _Is he zat attracteevv on purpose?_ I wondered. "Don't sweat it, Pavel. I'll find it somewhere." For a moment, it looked as if he might add something else. But eventually, he simply said, "Well, goodnight!" He turned to leave.

As Sulu reached for the door, I saw Uhura's dissapointed face in my mind's eye. Without thinking, I blurted out, "No, Heekaru, please do not leawe!"

Surprised, my paramour turned around to see my now bright scarlet face. "What's wrong?"

I bit my lip, fumbling for words. I dropped my gaze to the floor before muttering, "Karu, I'm sorry!"

Much to my shock, Sulu giggled. "Sorry about what? It's totally fine. The book'll show up sooner or later. You're not the one-"

"No!" I interrupted forcefully. "I'm sorry becauze…I hawe not been wery honest wiz you." Could he hear my heart, too, or was I imagining the obnoxiously loud pounding noises? "I'we… I'we been keeping a secret."

Now Sulu merely looked interested. "A secret? What kind of secret?" When I didn't respond, he took a step closer to me. "Pavel, are you okay?"

I shook my head, tears spilling out of my brown eyes. Now I _had_ to tell him. But it would ruin everything. I was about to ruin the single most perfect thing that had ever happened to me.

"Pavel, why are you crying? You're really starting to worry me. What's the matter? Did I do something to upset you?"

Somehow, I managed a cynical chuckle at that. "You? Upset me?" I sniffled through my immature tears. "Heekaru, you've newer upset me. I'm newer upset when I'm around you. You're smart, you're funny, you newer say anysing mean to anyvon! You're brawe and talented and mature…ewerysing I wish I could be!" I balled my hands into fists. "Hikaru, you're perfect and I love you!" I exploded. I stared at the pilot hard for a moment before running over to my bed and burying my face in my pillow. "Jus go away! If I hear you laugh at me, I vill not be able to bear it!"

Much to Hikaru's credit, he didn't laugh. But he didn't leave, either. Instead he walked over to the edge of the bed, sat down, and placed his warm hand on my back between my shoulder blades, pushing me so I would roll over. I lay there, staring up at him with my tear streaked face.

"Pav, why on Earth would I laugh?"

I clamored into a sitting position. "Wh-what do you mean?"

Sulu grinned. "Shit, Pav. For someone who graduated from Star Fleet Academy before they're even a legal adult, you can be pretty stupid." He placed his hands on my hips and drew me closer to him. "I never even brought my book in here, silly. I just needed an excuse to see you."

I was still trying to make sense of his words when Hikaru pressed his soft, warm lips against mine. After getting over the initial shock, I returned the passion of his kiss, and then some. Never relenting, I threw my arms around his midsection and pulled him down ontop of me.

But unfortunately, Sulu instantly sat back up, wriggling out of my grip. "Oh my god, Pavel…I'm sorry…but, we can't do this…_I_ can't…you're just a kid…" He looked at his hands guiltily, as if he had just killed someone. "I'm sorry, Chekov, I really am…"

A whimper inadvertantly escaped my lips. "Karu, I don't care. Don't be sorry. Don't leawe. You don't understand, I love you, Hikaru!" Then, defensively, I added, "And I am not a kid! I'm sewenteen!"

Sulu's gaze softened, and he chuckled. "Well, I guess I can't argue with that," he admitted. And as he slid closer to me, he whispered into me ear, "I love you, too, Pavel."


End file.
